Bottom-Shelf Booze

October 9th, 2013

Alex Riggs

Magic Market Archive

            That’s right, magic beverages are back. For those of you that aren’t familiar with this home-brewed concept, you may want to check out the rules for creating magic beverages, which were updated in a Magic Market article earlier this year.

            Today’s selection is not for the…discerning palette. Sure, it’s nice to know about the top-shelf stuff when you’ve got a whole hoard to spend on celebrating, but most bars and taverns, especially those of ill repute, are filled with low-life individuals drinking cheap booze that barely deserves the name. What are they drinking? And what about orcs, goblins, kobolds, and other less-than-picky drinkers? Well, here are some options for those drinkers willing to slum it up a little.


Aura faint necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot –; Price 5 gp per flagon, 25 gp per bottle; Weight
Exotic Ingredients a pinch of ground zombie flesh; Requirements Craft (alchemy) 3 ranks or Profession (brewer) 5 ranks; Craft DC 18; Cost 375 gp per barrel

            This dark-brown beer is far from a masterwork of its craft. Its taste is poor at best, and its alcohol content isn’t all that high, but it is incredibly cheap, at least as far as magical brews go, and those that favor it point out that it has certain health benefits, though whether or not they outweigh the drawbacks is up for debate.

            A single tankard of gutrot grog has no special magical effect, nor does consuming several doses at once. However, a character that consumes at least two tankards of gutrot grog each day for a full week undergoes a slight change, as his innards become suffused with necrotic energy. This imposes a -1 penalty to the imbiber’s Constitution score, but renders him immune to the sickened condition, and grants a +4 bonus on saving throws made to resist the nauseated condition. Creatures without a Constitution score are not affected. These effects last for as long as the imbiber maintains a steady diet of at least two tankards of gutrot grog each day, and for 1d4 days thereafter.

            Some say that those who drink at least 5 tankards of gutrot grog each day suffer a -2 penalty to Constitution and are immune to both the sickened and nauseated conditions, but these stories are always unsubstantiated, and individuals capable of maintaining a steady diet of 5 or more tankards of gutrot grog per day are quite hard to find.


Aura faint abjuration; CL 1st
Slot –; Price 150 gp per flagon, 750 gp per bottle; Weight
Exotic Ingredients ashes or cinders from a building that was deliberately destroyed by fire; Requirements Craft (alchemy) 1 rank or Profession (brewer) 2 ranks; Craft DC 16; Cost 11,250 gp per barrel

            This brew is rather foul tasting, and, in fact, is rarely consumed as a drink, although in some less-than-refined circles, the ability to stomach the stuff is considered a mark of toughness and stature. Rather, this strange concoction is usually used as an accelerant in lighting fires, due to its unusual properties. Any object or creature that is doused with inflammable ale who is exposed to flames immediately catches fire, but, due to a strange property of the ale, the fire does not burn the creature or object coated in inflammable ale. The fire burns normally for others, however, and anything that the ignited creature or object touches suffers 1d6 points of fire damage each round that it maintains contact.

            A single tankard of inflammable ale is enough to douse a single creature of Medium size or smaller (four tankards are required for a Large creature, nine for a Huge creature, sixteen for a Gargantuan creature, and so on). Once doused, the inflammable ale retains its properties for one hour, or until the creature or object it is on catches on fire, after which it burns for 2d4 rounds before being consumed, at which point the flames on the creature or object die out. Inflammable ale provides no protection against other source of fire damage, and only protects the affected creature or object from suffering fire damage as a result of catching on fire.


Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot –; Price 200 gp per flagon, 1,000 gp per bottle; Weight
Exotic Ingredients one oz. of sewage water; Requirements Craft (alchemy) 3 ranks or Profession (brewer) 5 ranks; Craft DC 18; Cost 15,000 gp per barrel

            This greenish-brown liquid is technically a beer, though it is not very appetizing to the palette. Favored by goblins, kobolds, and other demi-humans with less concern for hygiene and a greater willingness to consume questionable items, this particular drink is also used as a weapon of sorts. Beginning 1d4 minutes after the beer is consumed, the imbiber gains the ability to breathe out a cloud of sickening fumes as a standard action. This cloud takes the form of a 15-foot cone. Any creature in the area when the imbiber uses this ability, or which enters the affected area before the beginning of the imbiber’s next turn, must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 13) or be sickened for 1d4 rounds. A creature that fails its saving throw by 5 or more is nauseated, instead. Creatures that do not need to breathe are immune to this effect, and any resistance or immunity to poison applies to this effect, as well. The imbiber can breathe fumes in this way once, after which the stinkbreath swill is expended. If the imbiber does not breathe fumes in this way within 1 hour of consuming the stinkbreath swill, the effect is wasted.