Terrible Tables

December 18th, 2013

Joshua Zaback

Magic Market Archive

             It’s a fact that every adventurer beyond level 5 has one common drive, a single ambition, and an all-consuming need: a need for magic items. From mighty heroes to wicked and vile evildoers, everyone wants magic items. For the most part, there are items for just about everyone: magic swords for fighters, magic wands for mages, and so on. And on the whole, the villainous archetypes found in Insidious Intentions: The Book of Villainy, Volume I are quite satisfied with the usual selection of unholy swords and staves of death, but one group is largely left wanting. I am, of course, talking about those who lay people down on tables and cut out their hearts. To that end, I have some new magical items for those who like to watch the blood of their restrained victims drip slowly to the floor.


Aura moderate conjuration; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 34,000 gp; Weight 300 lbs.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, planar binding; Cost 17,000 gp

            These large stone altars are decorated at the base with the leering image of a vrock and stained a dark reddish black at the top, leaving little doubt as to its function. Though normally decorative, when a humanoid creature is placed atop the altar the frenzied whispers of otherworldly creatures becomes audible for all to hear.

            This altar has no effect unless a creature is sacrificed upon it. Whenever a helpless, living humanoid is slain atop an altar of vrock summoning, a vrock is summoned adjacent to the altar. The vrock serves the character who killed the victim for a number of rounds equal to the slain victim’s Hit Dice, as though summoned by the spell summon monster I.

            At the end of this duration, the vrock returns to its home plane unless prevented from doing so, such as by being trapped in a circle of protection spell or by being affected by a planar binding spell. A vrock trapped in such a way for more than 1 minute cannot return to its home plane, even through the use of spells or spell-like abilities it possesses, and can only be banished by slaying it or by banishing it with a banishment or dismissal spell. A vrock summoned by the altar and trapped in this fashion can be made to serve a character by sacrificing a second humanoid on the altar of demon summoning. If a second humanoid is sacrificed in this way, the vrock is forced to serve the character who slew the second victim for a number of days equal to the slain victim’s Hit Dice, as though the vrock were affected by the spell dominate monster.


Aura strong conjuration; CL 13th
Slot -; Price 60,000 gp; Weight 500 lb.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, resurrection; Cost 30,000 gp

               These altars always come in pairs: one made of black marble, the other white. Both are large, perfect rectangular prisms and are elaborately decorated with images of frolicking angels and frenzied demons.

            These altars are designed to take the life from a living creature and transfer it into the corpse of a similar creature placed on the other altar. In order to use the altars, the corpse of a Medium size character must be placed upon the black altar and anointed with oils costing 100 gp. At the same time, a helpless living character of the same creature type must be placed upon the white altar. By speaking a command word, you can cause the white altar to drain life force from the creature atop it, inflicting 10 points of damage to that character. If the character placed on the white altar dies as a result of this damage, his life force is transferred into the corpse placed upon the black altar, affecting the corpse as though by the spell resurrection.


Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot -; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace; Cost 4,000 gp

            These cold steel tables feature leather straps inscribed with profane runes and numerous surgical instruments made from cold iron. They are favored by mad and deranged individuals looking to experiment with trans-species organ transfusion.

            The magic of these strange surgical tables allows a character to implant the organs of aberrations, magical beasts, and outsiders into humanoids, in order to temporarily empower them. Performing a surgery in this fashion requires restraining a humanoid creature on the table, as well as an internal organ from an aberration, magical beast, or outsider. The organ can then be implanted into the restrained character by performing a 1 minute surgery that requires a successful Heal check (DC 20). If the surgery is successful, the restrained character gains a +4 enhancement bonus to his Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution scores for 24 hours, or until the target rests, whichever comes first. At the end of the effect’s duration, the body of character with the implant rejects the new organ, and the character must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 20) or suffer internal bleeding, taking 3d6 points of bleed damage. Whether or not the save is successful, the implanted character gains the sickened condition for 24 hours as a result of the rejected organ.